How To Identify + Meet Your Own Needs

Only you can satisfy your own needs.

This is what might need attention if you’re feeling deep resentment in your marriage. Which of your needs have you been waiting for your spouse to satisfy so that you can feel happy and whole? Can you think of something right now?

Maybe it’s being acknowledged and appreciated for all that you do. Or being supported while you go to a stressful medical appointment. Do you need an afternoon nap or unscheduled time to yourself? Give those things to yourself, as much as possible.

The best thing you can do for your marriage each and every day is to prioritize meeting your own needs. 

Before your spouse’s. Before the rest of the world starts showing up in your inbox or tugging at your sleeve. 

I can feel the resistance that you may be experiencing as you read that last paragraph. We’re a society that values self-sacrifice and selfLESSness. But putting ourselves last is costing us dearly in our intimate relationships. 

We’re showing up empty. We wait and wait for our other half to satisfy our ever-changing needs…and then we feel guilty for having needs at all.

There’s a better way, but it requires a strong commitment to caring for yourself. 

Anything that makes you feel loved and supported, do that for yourself.

Ask yourself each morning, “What do I need most today?” Prioritize the answer and do those things for yourself. Stop waiting for your partner to grant you permission or satisfy your every need. 

You just might find that as you take care of yourself from a place of deep love, not only will you feel better, your spouse will feel relieved that you’re happier and will begin showing up for you more. 

They may even show up more for themselves, creating more peace, joy and healing in your relationship.